MEMO: THIS ONE'S FOR REAL MEN

If you're not a real man and you're not aspiring to be one, please ignore everything you see here :|

Being a real man no be by muscles o

Hello guys, I write you from the groanings of my tiny heart, please indulge me.

First, what’s the deal with this new trend y’all rocking these days? This new trend of beating women to stupor/even to death? We all have heard the Pistorius, Akolade stories. And there is also this rape thing everywhere...

What is it? What what what is wrong with you gaaaaaan sef...

I feel very troubled that men who are supposed to protect the women in their lives end up being their worst nightmares. Get a grip on yourselves boys!

Look! A muscular body,  fat bank account, good friends network, a good job, political positions, chieftaincy titles, religious position, baritone voice, hairy chest, athletic body, goatee, big grammar, ability to father a child, big car, big house, international connections. All these can make you a man but not a real man. A real man is quite different from just any random man on the street.

You label every girl a ‘gold digger’. Okay okay, I’m well aware that some girls are not smiling but Guy, not every girl needs your money! Listen, Gold diggers dig gold, do you even have gold? Like real GOLD? *pulling off my vexing coat*  *sigh. Any reasonable man should know the needs of his woman without her asking, is all I'm saying!

In Gbemi OO’s voice, you want a girl that would pound yam for you, have you ever asked yourself “am I worth pounding yam for?'

I’m not here to talk down at you or anything, I know how volatile your egos can be, I just want to help you know some of the things we reasonable women (and even God) crave from our men.

I might not be able to expatiate on some of the points because I have this presentation I need to get back to, but I trust that y’all are very intelligent and will allow God interpret these words to you and help you become that man your woman, your mother, your sisters will be proud of.

A real man is accountable. First to God and then to all the important people in his life.

A real man prides himself on his hygiene and impeccable manners. 

His word is his bond. He is downright down to earth!

A real man is LOYAL. He stands up for what he believes in, behind his convictions, his words, and himself.   He is responsible for his own actions.

A real man delays gratification- Sometime ago I saw a man all suited up looking nice and dandy fighting on the streets. Well, as the fight progressed, he wasn’t looking as nice... and that’s just sad. Someone said “It takes discipline, patience, and maturity to filter oneself and think about others before one responds. A response requires thought, meta-cognition. A reaction is instinctual. Boys react. Men respond”. A real man doesn’t think because he wants it, he has to have it NOW! Not sex, not a fight, ...

A real man doesn’t treat his woman like a slave or less of a human because he knows and understands  that there are only 3 ‘persons’ referred to as ‘helper’ in the Bible: God the Father, the Holy Spirit and the Woman. #selah

A real man knows what he wants and he goes for it, but he thinks before he acts. He makes decisions while considering and valuing the input of others and those closest to him.

A Real Man is not afraid to ask questions when he doesn’t know the answer.

The mark of a real man is in being able to keep his cool in moments of stress conflict, criticism, and less-than-ideal situations; he bends without breaking in the face of adversity and dire circumstances.

A Real Man knows when and where not to crack a joke.  He’s charming, protective and chivalrous.

A Real Man is not afraid to win; at the same time, he knows the value and growth that comes with losing and that there is plenty of room in the winner’s circle, and wants others to succeed too!

A real man values more than just looks. A real man doesn’t shout ‘ukwu’ like a retard!

A real man will never be intimidated by his woman’s motivation: a man, who has goals for himself, will want to be with a woman who has goals for her own life, too. He will want to be part of a ‘power couple’, rather than a ‘dictatorship’.

A real man doesn’t pout in ALL his pictures, it’s just disgusting *straight face*

A real man doesn’t wee-wee on the streets, on walls,  or in ‘gutters’, ah mean, that’s just ‘awfully appalling’... total mumu behaviour.

A real man will not dance around answers or make excuses. If there is something that needs to be talked about, he talks about it.

A real man will trust his woman. He will have confidence in his relationship. Only a boy will project his own insecurities onto his woman or other people. It should be understood that part of what comes with the territory of having a girlfriend, is dealing with her getting hit on. If you're at the bar together, or if she's out with her friends, it goes without saying that your girlfriend will get hit on every once in awhile. Instead of letting his primate instincts prevail and beating his chest like an angry gorilla to scare off competition, a real man will calmly make his position known, and understand that at the end of the day, she’s his.

A real man shows respect - Nothing signifies an empty shell of a man more than someone who disrespects other people especially women. It is an excuse of a man that beats up a woman.

Finally, a real man will empower those around him. He will strive for greatness and therefore inspire others to strive for it as well. This not only includes friends and co-workers, but also significant others.

It’s amazing how easy it is to see these things, and nod while reading them, yet still fail at them on a daily basis. I know there is no purrfect man but you have to put in more work in being a better version of you.

Y’all have more influence than you’ll ever know. God himself has given you dominion over all that breathes; you have the power to influence the direction we all go. But are you capable of handling that kind of authority? Will you be able to make it worth our while?

My name is Priscilla Adeboye and I love me some real man!

Toodles...

These points are not conclusive; please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section below…

*I got a little help here and there with this article ;)