RE: A Wedding As I See It

ET: 06:56.71

I, Agbeke Adefunke daughter of Omolayo and Ayodele Adeboye take you *****, to be my lawfully wedded husband. On this special day, in the presence of our loving God and these amazing people, I affirm to you my sacred promise to stay by your side and be your G, in sickness and in health, in joy, in sorrow, through the best times and the worst. I will be to you a rock-solid support system, your numero uno cheerleader, your accomplice, greatest travel buddy, your prayer warrior, your queen, your true counterpart and best friend. I promise to love you without inhibition, without reservation. My love for Mercedes Benz, Basketball, Dogs and Babies has nothing on you. I will encourage you to achieve your goals, grow with you in mind and in spirit, always be open and honest with you, be submissive to you and cherish you and all we share for as long as we both shall live, so help me God…

Sniff sniff….

You know you are a helpless romantic when you ‘roll out’ a wedding vow off-hand like I just did.

This thing called Love: so warm, so soothing, so rich, oh so whole.

I am a big-fat fan of love, (if you haven't already noticed) :).

And this love isn't just eros only, I loooove my lil cousins like my heart was shared and put into each of them, I love my father, I love my mumsy, I love Ife, I love Juliet, I love Justina, and I love Jesus so much.... and oh, I've loved a boy before too, so I know that I've experienced different shades of love to know I'm a lover :)

Somebody said ‘love is to the heart what oxygen is to the body’, and I agree. Love is probably the best antidepressant in this world.

Haha… I do realise this mushy part of me isn’t one a lot of people are familiar with (especially people in my office; shout-out to Mojeed in HCM who thinks I'm a Thatcher protégé ...LOL). In as much as I wouldn’t kid you and say I am not the tough Mercedes-loving adrenaline junkie you think I am, I’ll like to break it to you that I'm a hopeless romantic. I started a business primarily to help people surprise their lovers.

Zaveza is Slovenian for Commitment! Powwww!!! ‘yeah, you saw the half of me…’(in Rihanna’s voice)...LOL

Anyhoo, back to the wedding talk:

I love weddings. I think a wedding is the celebration of something so pure, so beautiful, so human, yet so divine. It is the knitting of two individual souls into one forever. It is the unofficial-official approval to ‘do the do’ (y’all know wha’m say’n…). So, I take weddings very seriously. I almost always have to grab the Kleenex when the couple starts to say their vows… it’s so beautiful (but I'm proudly a crybaby too, don't judge me :D ).

However these days, I have seen weddings become an organized mess. The ‘Instagram/BN wedding’ craze has become extremely crazy. People go all out to ‘impress’ others with their weddings and to out-do some other person’s wedding. Why oh why?

Wedding planning/servicing is definitely one of the fastest growing industries in Nigeria as we speak and trust me, they are cashing in big time. A lot of international wedding planners have started to take on Nigerian weddings, as they also have discovered that Nigerians do not know how to do anything ‘low-key’. Naija ile...

I was speaking to a photographer friend recently (sometime in 2015 when the original article was written) and when he told me the amount he charges for pre-wedding photo-shoots only, I almost choked. You know, it has become increasingly trendy to' travel' for pre-wedding shoots.

Also, my contact in one of these ‘wedding sites’ told me they charge about N4 million to cover destination weddings. 4 million cold-blooded Nigerian Naira just for your wedding to be hosted on a blog!!! You know, I cannot authoritatively say that I can’t spend that kind of money on my (our) honeymoon as God provides, but I can tell you categorically that I will not pay any blog/site any money, at all just to cover my wedding. And I am not one to hate on anyone's hustle. If that's what you want in your life, a 4 million Naira wedding blog post, and you can afford it, by all means, do you! But don't borrow. Don't borrow at allll!!!! Don't borrow anything!

On one of my shows when I was still a radio presenter, we were having this wedding conversation on-air and I said I will invite just 50 people to my wedding (I still think I will). When I got home that day, my dramatic Ma engaged me and said “nle o Oyinbo woman, is it your father’s family that won’t be at your wedding? Because my own family alone is more than 50”. My Dad responded and said “Noooo, it has to be her mother’s people that won’t be there”…LOL.

Anyway, it’s been 3 long years since that radio show (this is 2 years after the 3 years :) ) and I think my parents and I finally have reached an agreement. Somewhere along the line, we were able to establish that it is MY wedding after all. My mum even said I can have a ‘destination wedding’ only that the ‘destination’ has to be within Nigeria (that woman ehn…).

Every girl deserves her dream wedding, every guy too. My point however is, it should be on your own terms not because you want to please/impress someone else. Your wedding should be all about you and the love of your life. You’re allowed to be selfish that one day. After all, you are celebrating your love. Don’t go all out to impress others and then miss out on your own wedding. It’s just once in your lifetime!
PS: Please don't be mad when someone does not invite you to their wedding, just be happy and send your best wishes. It is their wedding. They should be able to choose who they want there in peace.

There seems to be a lot of ‘noise’ trailing weddings these days that seem to drown the real essence of the ceremony. Funnily, I have been taught that people will never be satisfied, no matter what you do. In fact, I have stopped attending wedding receptions in Nigeria because I am just tired of the ‘chaos’: I mean, people shouting for food and lobbying for souvenirs when they didn’t even bring any gift for the couple! Sometimes, they don’t even know the names of the couple.

Wait a minute, why do brides always play Luther Vandross’ ‘Dance With My Father’ during the father-daughter dance? Do they understand that song? Well, I shall face my front now…

With this ring, I thee wed as a symbol and emblem of my eternal love and devotion to you for as long as we both shall live…

When you say these sacred words, I would really love that all that is on your mind in that moment is how blessed you are and how much in love with this person you are; not if the papparrazzi are getting the right shots for Instagram or if Beyonce has landed in time for the wedding reception.

My name is Priscilla Adeboye and this is ‘weddings’ as I see it.

Unity and faith, peace and progress.

xx

This article was first published on a dear brother Joshua Olanrewaju's site: LORDJOSHWRITES.COM on November 9, 2015 for #30DaysOfNovember. I have brought it here because two years later, I still feel the same way.

PS: Watch out for his short film, Ridiculous! whoop whoop

Photo Credit: wallpaperstock.net, static.pexels.com, hdwallsource.com, http://wallpaperswide.com