Still I rise… (e bad as e bad)

I am aware that Bro Makaveli, Mummy Maya Angelou, and Sister Onika Maraj had had one or two things to say about this topic, but so do I now.

Have you ever felt so deeply unhappy and insecure? Feeling as though the weight of the world rests on your shoulders and you’re losing your balance?

Until about 4 days ago, I’d not slept in over 2 weeks (I had a few winks of sleep here and there…but I know a good sleep when I have one).

My blood pressure was high. My immune system was bailing on me. I was very unhappy and insecure. I was in a position I don’t like to be: I was vulnerable. 

If you know anything about me, you’d know that I like to have things figured out and to be in charge of ‘the situation’, but this time I was facing a situation I was so lost and clueless about. I don’t like to be broke, but I was brokenly shatteredly broke… Somebody said “you don’t look broke. You can’t be broke” and I said “AMEN” (may we never have to LOOK broke). Anyway, on top of all that, I was also losing my all-seasons-bangin’-summer-bod’ thank you….hehehe

…The tribulations of a ghetto kid, still I rise.

People who appear to have it all together usually don’t. the wisest and most 'well-rounded' people are most likely those who have known misery, known defeat, known heartbreak, known pain, and have decidedly clawed their way out of the depths of their own despair. These are people who have experienced many ups and downs, and have gained an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life.

If you’ve been through a tough time before, you’d agree with me that all that ‘Top 10 Things To Do When You Are Depressed’ business isn’t exactly what you want to hear or see at that time. "Helluuurrr, I know I should stay positive, laugh, talk about it, connect with my core… but those aren’t things I want to do right now…"

In the midst of hard times, it is easy to look around and see a bunch of people who seem to be doing just fine.  But ‘news flash’: we’re all struggling in our own way! And if only we could be brave enough to open up, you’d realize that so many people are even fighting the exact battle you are.

Pain is a part of life. It's okay to have down days and tough times, they help you grow. Cry if you have to, break something (something: you own, cheap and easily 'sweepable') if you have to. Do what you must but do it fast and sharply borrow yourself brain. Because if you don't borrow yourself brain, who will?

There’s an adage in Yoruba which says ‘oun se omo oloku bee ni o… a ki o sin pelu oku re’ translated as ‘no matter how grieved the child of the deceased is, we won’t bury him/her with the deceased’. In other words, life goes on until The Owner of life takes it...

Another one (my absolute favorite) says: ‘kaka k’ile ku, ile ma sa ni’ which means ‘the earth would rather fade or be unproductive than die’. However, my translation is ‘it is IMPOSSICANT for the earth to either die or fade so e bad as e bad, I'll be fine’.

I know rightttt.... my Yoruba-Princessy side came out to play on this one....LOL

I know Nigeria isn’t in the best of circumstances right now. The Naira is bleeding. Oil prices are free-falling into a seemingly bottomless pit. Basic infrastructure seem to be lacking. Everything is depleting. The ‘centre seems not to hold’. The sun sef is soooo hot… but oun s’omo oloku bee ni o… still we rise!

I read somewhere that you can’t change situations you don’t take responsibility for. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you surrender power over that part of your life.

Also, when you stop expecting things to be a certain way, you can appreciate them for what they are. Ultimately, you will realise that life's greatest gifts are rarely wrapped they way you expected.

Finally, my Bible says: '...God is faithful, He will not allow you to be tested beyond what you can bear, but with the test, will also provide the way of escape...'

My name is Priscilla Adeboye,

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I’ll rise.

Unity and faith, peace and progress.

xx

PS: shalla to the friends I shut out but have stuck with me, please stay stuck; and to those who took my vulnerability for granted, go ask about me... I’ll be back!

photocredit : @WordyTheWordSmith ...thank you so much. You too @IbkDaGreatest. God bless you guys.