I, Agbeke Adefunke Adeboye will totally date/marry someone 20years older...
HAPPY NEW YEAR
FAM!!!
I know. I know…
and I have no excuse. Absolutely none!
In my defense, I
actually started to write a couple of times but then I either lost the document(s)
or somehow, I just didn't get round to completing them… I’m so sorry. I
promise, it will be better this year. (yeah, I know today’s date already...hehe)
Okay, let’s get
straight to the meat of the matter… I recently met 2 really REALLY cool guys
(at different times)…
They love God, can
strike and keep a
conversation, downright intelligent, well-read and travelled, driven, down-to-earth,
thoughtful, spontaneous, one of them even likes Mercedes, and all those nice
things BUT, he’s 40ish - both of them.
So for the first
time, I actually really gave it some thought, very serious thought o, like: “I
could totally date/marry someone up to 20 years older than me”
*dodges slaps
and stones…lol
Easy… easy… I
can explain...
Ahmean! Are you
saying If I’m totally single and ‘available’ and I meet a really cool guy that
I really like and who really likes me and I feel a nudge in my spirit and peace to
go ahead, and I’m say 23, I should say no
to him just ‘cos he’s 20 years older? Because society thinks he’s old enough to be my father?
I’m sorry!
I’m not saying
I’m into old men, naaa not at all! In fact, I like ‘em young n fresh… but for laughing out loud, whether you’re a man or a
lady, if you meet someone really ‘all-the-things-you-want-in-your-life’, and
y’all have put all your cards on the table and you’re both showing hearts and y’all
have spoken about all ‘em ‘curves and edges’ and you’re ready to live with them,
then wetin remain?
Society,
especially ours, holds such a negative stigma regarding age differences, we
obsess over it so much; in simple terms, we take it P bajebaje and leave the
very important things…
…I remember
after my intense soul-searching which brought about this glorious ‘rhema’, I shared it on my BBM and my other social media platforms
and the reaction I got… over-friggin-whelming…loool. For example, my BFF, Bunmi
pinged me immediately “Ore, sho gbadun?...”, someone else: “you don find sugar
daddy abi? You’re now trying to find an excuse…”, Iyinolu: “I just thank God
for Mr *, if not you would have just made too many stupid mistakes, you this geh”…and so many others.
I discovered
that everyone was thinking about all the cons (‘divorcee’, ‘widower’, kids, generational difference, social
difference, *relatability*, ‘he’ll be domineering and jealous’, ‘he will die
wayyyy before you and you will have to raise your kids alone’, ‘everyone will
think you’re a gold-digger’, dadadadada…) *sigh. I definitely agree that there
are cons, plenty of them, I will be such a *sometin
I don’t know* to turn a blind eye to all the cons there could possibly be. But
my point is: It. Can’t. Be. That. Bad! THERE MUST BE PROS TOO, PEOPLE!!!
I know they can
be such kind beings and understanding and ‘secure’ and protective and Way-Past-Playing-Games’y,
and realllly nice…
Just because
someone is a certain age doesn’t necessarily box them to a certain status quo.
Like I said, I’m
not dating someone 20 years older than me, and it’s not like I’m even thinking
about either of those really cool baba 40’s I met or anything, Naaaaa, I’m just
being the devil’s advocate here, so… please don’t judge me *music*
Even if you and
your partner have the ‘ideal’ age difference and you’re not on the same page,
things will be just as difficult.
I think the age
thing basically depends on maturity. One can be 24 with the mindset of a
45-year-old or vice versa. For example, I think Genevieve Delatour (Remy’s mum
and Zoila’s employer in Devious Maids) has the mindset of someone wayyyyy
younger, I really like her but you know what it is…
I am by no means
a Senior Special Adviser to anyone on Relationship Affairs, but ultimately, I
think the choice of the special someone you want to be with should be made
carefully and prayerfully. You don’t necessarily have to close yourself off
based on the society’s sentiments. According to Mark Twain, 'If you don’t mind, then it doesn't really matter'.
In as much as I think if
age were just a number (‘how old are you?’, ‘Number 30’. Lol how weird does
that sound?), then jail is just a room; I also think we take it too seriously.
My name is
Priscilla Adeboye and I’m pro LOVE and ROMANCE and FRIENDSHIP! Age? Age what?
*wink
Love you guys.
Toodles….xxx
NB: Lance Gross, John Cusack, Bill Compton, ‘Dr Derek Shepherd’, Jamie Foxx, George
Clooney, Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington, Brad Pitt, Will Smith, Idris Elba, Vin Diesel, are all
over 40…. #selah
Photo Credits: http://www.thedatereport.com; https://liverungrow.files.wordpress.com
Great write up! Arewa kudos
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteI have always been an advocate of "forget the age,lets see the love" moreover d older they are,the more matured and ridiculously sweet they are. We all won't eat un ripe fruits,yeah? *just saying*
ReplyDelete*fist bump* sister!
DeleteAgbeke! Mind yourself. That's all!!!!
ReplyDeleteehehehehe
DeleteYou rock gurl....I totally agree with you. Well done!
ReplyDelete