MEMO: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

Growing up, I remember when you’re having a fight with your friend or classmate, it is an ‘elemi loma last’ (survival of the fittest) situation; i.e you just want to have the final say in the ‘battle of words’ or you bear the shame of ‘losing’. And so, you go all out, use words and phrases like: ‘American Dustbin’, ‘Nigerian Baboon’, ‘Stupid’, ‘Amebo Business Centre’, ‘Go and brush your mouth before you talk to me’, ‘Shut up’, ‘Shut down’ "Mind your freaking business", and so on...

I was a well brought up ‘good girl’ (still ‘am’:) ), plus I don’t consider myself a confrontational person, and so I didn’t usually get into those war of words, I’ll just let u ‘abuse me’ and go; at times when I was very enraged, I’ll just say ‘silence is the best answer for a fool like you’, or ‘I wish you what you wish me’ but I always felt bad after every of such ‘fight’.

And so, you can imagine my joy when I opened my Bible one day and stumbled on I Thes 4:11: “Make it your goal to live a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you”. And Gal 6:5 “let every man bear his own load...” as in ‘sho gba e’...lol ( of course that wasn’t what Apostle Paul meant with those verses, but errrrrrrr... thank You Lord God for forgiving me).

Anyway, ‘Mind your own business’ is a common English saying which asks for a respect of other people's privacy. It can mean that a person should stop meddling in what does not concern them, etc.

This is the social media age and like never before, people are increasingly unable to mind their business. They are constantly judging other people’s behaviour. And there’s Kermit drinking his ‘boombastic’ cup of Lipton tea or sipping a banging cup of Loya milk and lending his two cents on e v e r y topic, every single topic and he goes on to say ‘but it’s none of my business’ *phew* Anyway...We judge people for all sorts of reasons- their choice of clothing, the food in their grocery carts, how they parent, who their friends are, what they weigh, who they get married to, the kind of car they drive; - the list goes on and on and on AND ON...
I’m certainly not saying I'm perfect and have never been guilty of judging others.  Ah mean... when people just choose to do things you don’t like, how can anyone refrain from pointing out their faults? Right!

We judge and castigate other people e v e r y time, most times, without even getting to the root of the story (shout out to those who comment on those gossip blogs).

But you know most of these other people’s headaches that we ‘drink’ panadol for are usually totally uncalled for. Serzly! It is said that people who are chronic ‘judges’ of other people’s actions are most likely internally miserable. They seek to find faults within others just to make themselves feel better.

Offering insight to a friend who’s in a pressing situation and requires your advice is a totally different situation and can be very helpful but even at this, there is only so much advice you can give without pushing the limits. Even if you don’t agree with what someone else is doing sometimes, you need to take a backseat and let them be. Sometimes, they are doing the best they can under such circumstances, at other times, you just need to let them make their own mistakes and learn.

Let’s focus on accepting people more. You can’t be always right. You don’t necessarily have to agree with everything they say/think, just try to give people a benefit of doubt (I’m so talking to myself right now).

You probably already know that the stuff that irritates us the most about others tends to be attributes we don’t necessarily realize we ourselves have.

Casting Crowns sang "...Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away,
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing...Always looking around but never looking up...” and rightly so. When we judge, we are trying to play God, we swing a ‘sword that’s not ours to sway’ and it’s dangerous. 

Judgments and criticism are as hurtful to oneself as they are to others. Learning how to stop judging others and be accepting them is healing for everyone involved; the person judging lightens, the one being judged softens, and the relationship blossoms. 

No one is perfect. Each person has their set of weakness and faults, just as they have their skills and strengths. This combination is what makes each human being unique. Be accepting of others' imperfections and focus on their gifts as a way to stop judging others.

My name is Priscilla and I believe People who feel good enough about themselves see the good in others.

Xoxoxo.

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